“I wish the World had a rewind button.”

 He wanted to go back to a time just before Christmas and have a different conversation with his Mum about a party he’d been invited to. In December he was adamant that didn’t want to attend the party and now he’d changed his mind and desperately wanted to go. I suggested to him that there was a way of rewinding what had happened and asked him what he wanted to achieve. After he’d told me his goal I asked him what he thought would happen if he just explained his goal to his Mum.

 “I’ve tried that – She just got annoyed and said that she’d already told them that I won’t be going.”

 I asked him if there was something else he could say before he told her what he wanted and he stopped and thought about it for a few moments.  Eventually after a lot of prompting from me he came up with a plan of action:

 “I’ll tell her I’m sorry for causing the bother and afterwards I’ll ask her what job I can do to pay her back for her efforts.”

 As you can probably imagine he got what he wanted and has hopefully learnt a wonderful lesson at the same time –SORRY is one of the most powerful words in our language.

 It’s always amazed me how few people seem to understand the power of this small, simple word.  I bet you can think of a situation that’s happened to you recently that would have been solved if the other person just said SORRY in a heartfelt and authentic way. And before we get too high and mighty, I think we should also realise that other people have these feelings too and they are often expecting us to say SORRY.

 I think one of the problems is that it usually takes courage and good self esteem to admit you were wrong and apologise. In fact I’ve met people who have such low self belief that they just can’t seem to say the word even when everyone involved knows they are at fault. They just don’t seem to be able to pluck up the courage to say it, even when they know it would fix the problem.

 Some people think that it’s a sign of weakness to admit you were at fault and say sorry. To me it’s exactly the opposite – it’s a sign of strength. Most people can only say something like “I’m sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me” when they have good self esteem, or when they feel good about themselves.

 But what happens when you do it, when you take the plunge and say that magic word – SORRY. Does it usually help solve the problem? Does it help repair the damage that’s been done to the relationship? Does the other person feel better after you’ve said it?

 Those are all wonderful, positive things that occur when you say SORRY but the best thing that happens is internal not external. How do you feel about yourself after you’ve apologized for something you’ve done wrong? Personally I usually feel stronger, more in control and better about myself after I’ve apologized. By saying SORRY I’m not trying to apportion blame – I’m just trying to get to the solution phase as quickly as possible. I’m assuming responsibility and being proactive in trying to solve the problem – net result: I feel better about me.

 I think saying the word SORRY can really help our own self-belief and I highly recommend it as a confidence builder. It takes a bit of guts and it usually hurts when you say it but after a short while you almost always feel better about yourself and you’ll get to a solution quicker.

 The word SORRY can have magic qualities and when we SAY IT LIKE WE MEAN IT, it can often rewind a negative situation back to where it was before things started to go wrong.

We’ve all got a negative customer care story that we delight in telling people and we spread the word about how badly XYZ company treats their customers. I could fill the next 10 SHACK ATTACK’s recounting the poor experiences I’ve had with customer care but I’ve decided that it’s better to focus on the good rather than the bad. When we teach our children how to behave we are told to ignore the behaviour we don’t like and praise the child when we see the behaviour we’re looking for. Perhaps that’s a good idea with customer care too.

I recently went to get a puncture fixed and when I collected the tyre I asked the attendant how much it would cost me. His reply almost had me sitting on the floor, he said “Nothing sir, that’s our new policy.” Not only was I pleasantly surprised about not having to pay the $15 or $20 but I was amazed at how our subsequent conversation affected my mood.

I told this guy how great it was that his company had decided not to charge for fixing a punctures and he explained the company stand point. “If we charged you to fix the puncture then we would make a few dollars but if we don’t then you’ll probably remember us next time you need a new set of tyres for your car.” He then spent some time talking to me about what I felt I needed in a tyre company, what type of car I drove and what type of tyres I used. He asked me how I found the service I received form him and his staff and how I felt it could be improved and he finished off by giving me some discount vouchers off my next purchase (even though I’d spent no money with him). As I drove out of the garage I turned around to take a good look as I realised that I didn’t even know which company it was that I’d been using! When I discovered the flat I’d just thought to my self “where can I get a puncture fixed? Oh yes there’s that place next to the Toyota garage” . My conversation with that employee was so positive and uplifting that I’m really happy to tell you that he worked for Firestone Direct .

When I think about their approach it makes excellent sense. To renew the tyres on my car will cost me around $1000, and when I need to do it, I don’t usually spend much time thinking about where I should go, I usually go somewhere that’s convenient, to a company that’s got a special offer on at that time, which from the TV advertising I watch, appears to be most of them! I’m absolutely certain where I’ll go next time I need some new tyres. Now you could say that’s because I was given something for free, but I think it’s much more than that. I think that the guy I spoke to showed me an attitude of real customer care. He spent loads of time making sure I felt important and without actually saying the words, told me how much that company valued my future business.

In my late 20′s I used to train people in customer care and back then I used to believe that in order for people to give great customer service, they needed to have good communication skills and understand how to use sales techniques. However we all know that being nice to customers is an attitude which involves a mind set rather than techniques. I’m sure that the tyre technician I spoke wasn’t the world’s greatest salesman and he may even have not fully understood what he was doing but he certainly had the right attitude towards customer care and I’ll make a point of calling his boss and telling him what a great job he did.

He had what I call a self employed mentality, even though he was obviously an employee of the company he acted as though he was self employed. When I first became self employed 25 years ago I quickly realised that if I wasn’t nice to customers and didn’t give them what they wanted then they wouldn’t pay me which meant that I didn’t get to eat! Previously as an employee I hadn’t come to that same conclusion and I didn’t always have the right attitude. Funnily enough I’ve met some self employed people who don’t display this mentality and give off the attitude that I should be grateful to be a customer of theirs. These people always seem to delight in telling me how good they are at what they do and sometimes they even suggest that it’s my fault that things have gone wrong! So just being self employed doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be giving good customer care, but I think the self employed mentality is a great way of describing the necessary attitude. So let me finish off by asking you how often do you have a self employed mentality?

 If you run your own business or you are in sales I’m sure you’d like to double your results and presumably therefore double your income, but if you are not in sales please don’t stop reading this. I’m sure you’ll be able to find ways to double your income as well, you just may need to be a bit more creative and use different thought processes to get there.

 The first question to ask yourself is: Are there people who do what I do, that earn twice what I earn?  Now, the answer to that question is almost certainly yes.  However for the few of you that can’t answer yes to that then you may like to consider doing something additional or something else to earn more. If there are people that earn twice what you earn then let’s consider a few other questions.  Do they work twice as hard as you do?  Do they put in twice as many hours as you do?  Are they twice as smart?  Do they have twice your experience or double your skill level?

 In my experience the top earners in any profession don’t work harder or for longer than the average earners. They don’t necessarily have more skills or more experience and they aren’t usually super smart either. The difference that makes the difference is in the way that they think.  So what that tells us is that if you thought the same way the top earners do then it’s possible to earn twice as much as you currently do.

 Now we need to consider belief and the next question you should be asking yourself is. Do I believe in myself enough to earn twice as much as I am currently earning?  Don’t just quickly answer yes, consider this experiment that’s been done many times: If we placed an exciting job advert in the paper stating the complete job description and showing a salary of $65,000, we could expect to receive many applications. If we took the exact same advert and placed it in the same paper the following week but this time said that the salary was to be $650,000 how many applications do you think we would receive? Most people would love to earn that salary but very few people actually believe that they are worth that amount of money and therefore they wouldn’t apply.

 So now we know that in order to double our income we need to change what we believe we are worth. Just a quick note here: many people make the false assumption that their self worth is determined by what others think. In other words they are only worth what someone else decides to pay them. It might be an interesting exercise to ask an employer (not your own boss!) how much they are prepared to pay their staff. Some business owners will give you the answer that they’ll pay as little as they can get away with, which is understandable as that way they get to keep more of the business’s profits.

 I think that the starting point to doubling your income is to believe that you are worth that much and the only way to do that is if you are giving a better product, a better service, doing more and going further than the next person.

 Now we need to ask ourselves: What do I need to change about the way I work that could help me double my income? Some people feel that this would involve a massive change which would be too big or too scary to take on. Just consider the following story:

 Two identical yachts leave the Bay of Islands on the same day and both captains decide that they are going to sail due north for a week until they make landfall in Fiji. Now they sail at approximately the same speed and experience very similar weather but one of the yachts has a 1 degree error in it’s compass readings that it is not aware of.  For a while you wouldn’t see any difference between their paths but after a few hours you would start to see a gap building up between them and by the end of the first day they would be a few kilometres apart. 7 days later one of the yachts would happily make safe harbour in Fiji. A couple of months later the other yacht would run aground on the coast of Alaska. Do you sometimes feel you want to be on a path towards sunshine, but it seems to takes you ten times as long to get there as it should and when you arrive it‘s the wrong place anyway!

 Very often the changes that we need to make to improve our results are very small, but if we consistently apply those changes over and over again we can achieve some great results. These alterations might be as simple as changing the questions you ask people when you start to work with them. Perhaps it is offering your product or service in a slightly different way. It could even be as simple as selling to a different type of prospect. 

 In November of last year I made some very simple changes to my business model and decided to stop chasing my clients for business on the telephone and concentrate on marketing through my newsletter and by email contact. This approach wouldn’t work for everybody but for me the results have been wonderful, including having a smaller phone bill! My whole attitude has improved as I no longer experience the frustration of not being able to speak to people because they are away or in meetings and I think I’ve probably stopped chasing some people away by being too pushy. Now I’m sure some people would respond better to a phone call rather than an email so I expect I’ve missed out on some business but the net result to me has been very positive. Not only have I doubled my income but I’ve reduced the stress in my life and increased the time I can spend with my young family.

 I’ve achieved all that just by making a few tiny changes to the way I’ve been selling and I’d love to tell you that it’s been easy but it hasn’t. I’ve found myself falling back into my old habit of telephoning on a number of occasions and when I do my stress levels rise and my free time disappears. I’ve had to work really hard on not feeling guilty because I’ve not been on the phone for 4 hours a day. Now I understand that for some of you that may sound really stupid but I’ve been spending half a day on the phone for the last 20 years and to me it feels normal. If I don’t do it my brain tells me I’m being lazy and ineffective and therefore I won’t be successful. The new approach is simpler, easier and more effective but my old habits are difficult to break.

 Change is never easy especially when you are trying to alter habits that you’ve had for years but the results of making these small changes can be spectacular.

 So, let’s summarise those 3 questions that you need to ask yourself in order to double your income.

 Are there people who do what I do that earn twice what I earn? (The answer to this one is almost certainly YES).

 Do I believe in myself enough to earn twice as much as I am currently earning? (Be honest with yourself and if the answer is no then you need to work on your self worth. You could start by reading Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz – the best book I’ve ever read on self image.)

 What do I need to change about the way I work that could help me double my income? (You are only looking for small changes but ones that you can apply on a consistent basis. The problem for most of us is overcoming the old habits.)

I believe the same is true for success in any activity, however many people in business baulk at the idea of repeating an activity that they aren’t very good at, over and over again in order to perfect it. I’ve heard many people say after a couple of small failures in their job, that they don’t have what it takes to be successful. I wish I had a dollar for every sales person who has said to me that they don’t like cold calling or for every manager who says they hate presenting to large groups.

Do you think a top athlete “likes” getting up at 5 am on a cold winter’s morning and putting their body through a couple of hours of painful training?  Do you think they “like” going to bed early most nights and having little or no social life?  Do you think they “like” having to regulate what they eat and drink so as to keep their body fat levels as low as possible?  What they know is that if they want to win then they have to be disciplined in all the areas of their life that affect their performance.

If you want to be the top sales person in your company, a world class communicator or a great manager you will need the same levels of self discipline. You’ll need to have a commitment to learning the necessary skills and an extremely high level of consistent repetition of those skills. You will need to experience many failures in order to get good at something and then many more to become excellent at it. You will need to perform the things that you feel are “painful” until you perfect them and then raise the activity level so that the new task becomes “painful”.

An individual who has learnt self discipline and applies the skills to the attainment of their business goals is the type of person that every company is seeking to have on their staff.

Now, let’s face it, everyone knows what self discipline is and how it can be achieved but as usual just “knowing” something doesn’t ensure we can do it.  Keeping ourselves focused and disciplined often takes massive effort but this ability is not restricted to the talented few; anyone can achieve these levels of discipline. Perhaps the reason we don’t stay focused is that we don’t understand what mental habits top sports people are constantly striving to achieve. As you read the list below, score yourself out of 10 on each of the attributes.

1. COMMITMENT. An athlete will often decide on a 3 or 4 year training plan to achieve a relatively small increase in performance. The key to their success is the discipline to stick to that plan. Commitment is doing what we said we would do, when we said we would do it, long after the mood in which we said it has passed.

2. A “DO IT NOW” MENTALITY. A sports person knows that they cannot make up for lost time. If they don’t go training, compete in the race or take the action NOW, that opportunity is lost to them forever.

3. A BELIEF IN “PAYING THE PRICE”. Because of their commitment to training all athletes know that there is no such thing as something for nothing. Anything that is worth achieving will require hard sustained effort. Instant success with no effort is either cheating or it does not exist.

4. CONSISTENCY. A sportsman keeps a training diary which logs every action he takes, no matter how small, and what result that action produced.  How else can he discover which of his actions are working and which ones are not and therefore what to modify in the plan?

5. CONTROLLING FEAR. You will rarely hear a sport person say something like “that goal is too hard” or “I’m not good enough to achieve it”. You will usually hear “what do I need to do in order to get my goal?” To an athlete there can be no such thing as failure, only learning. If they have a poor performance or lose a race then they MUST learn from the event or they will never correct the mistake.

6. FAITH IN THEIR COACH. Every sportsman will decide whose comments and advice he will be using and whose words he will ignore. There are many people in this world who seem to enjoy finding fault in others efforts and achievements. An athlete has to develop total faith in their coach and in the coach’s training plan. Only then will they be able to give 100% effort.

7. CONTROLLING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. How stupid would it be to stand on the start line and be thinking “This is going to hurt” or “I’m not going to win this race”!

8. FOCUS. How much mental focus does an athlete need in order to perform at their best? What happens to their performance if they get distracted and are not concentrating?

9. DECLARING GOALS. All sports men and women have stretching, well defined, accurate goals that are constantly discussed and modified with their coach.

10. SELF BELIEF. How well does an athlete perform when their self belief is low? How hard do the athlete and their coach work on that self belief?

Now add up your score and see what figure you get out of 100. Not only will this tell you how well you’d perform as an international athlete, it will also tell you what attributes you’ll need to work on to become indispensable to your employers or clients.